Big Brother YuGiOh stylee!
by hysteric-fairy
Summary: Big brother - 10 people, 10 weeks, the horror! or the hilarity! plz r/r
1. The 10 arrive! and here is ur host Joey

Disclaimer and whatto - despite, as much as my heart desires, I cannot be owned by bakura, or any of the YGO peeps, and I cannot own them. Shniffles on a slightly good note - I own myself, and ranie (heehee - no she owns herself!) and we are the grand owners of Barky Larky!  
  
*Joey's not aware the cameras are filming and is winking to a camera girl* "sure thing hotlips, meet me in my dressing room later and we can" *looks and sees camera* "uh, um uh" *clears throat and forces cheesy grin* "Ello viewers, and welcome, to the first Yu-Gi-Oh Big Bruvva!"  
  
*cue theme music*  
  
*Joey laughs nervously* "uh, that before was, just a joke hehe" *looks to the side and shakes his head mouthing 'see you later' with a wink to camera girl*  
  
"anyway" Joey grins and walks over to a couch and sitting down "welcome! Soon we will see all 10 forced - I mean willing participants enter the big bruvva house"  
  
*Cameras then show a rather lavish looking large room that is like a lounge, dining room and kitchen all in one, stairs leading from the entrance/exit of the house. 2 bedrooms that have 5 beds in each, and a look around the garden and of course THE CHICKENS! *cheers**  
  
" Now, lets see quickly whos going in"  
  
*pictures come up on screen of : annoyed looking Rex, Yami looking horrified followed by unamused Yugi, cross dressing Malik, Marik attempting to hide from the cameras, cheesy grinning Tristan, mad grinning gal called Ranie, and a girl called Clare falling off a chair, Ryou looking sweet in his evil sweater, and a naked pic of Bakura*  
  
"Woah how did that one get there?" Joey laughs nervously and cameras focus on him again. "Okay I've just got word the first participant has arrived! Lets go uh, see them arrive - they is entering by alphabetical order so it'll be" he whispers to people who tell him, "Bakura"  
  
We see a black car pull up and the door open. Bakura is pulled out the car, "No please! I know I'm bad but I don't deserve this! I'll be good, I swear!" he yells as he's dragged off over to the security guards.  
  
Big butch security guard grins and stands in front of Bakura. "Okay sugar, I gotta just quickly pat you down" he says in an effeminate lispy voice as he begins to pat Bakura down.  
  
"Hey this is unnecess- oh, ooh! Heehe that tickles" Bakura squirms.  
  
Security guards eyes light up, "is that a gun in your pocket?" he winks.  
  
"Yes actually" Bakura says and pulls it out of his pocket with a grin.  
  
"Don't wave that thing around you could poke someone's eye out with it!" the security guard scowls, "now is that thing loaded?"  
  
"Um, no?" Bakura answers.  
  
"Okay, he's fine, let him in" the security guard says giving him a smack to the ass sending Bakura flying over to the entrance doors.  
  
Bakura takes one last look at freedom and sighs before going in through the doors and turns around "hey where are my b"- a bag gets thrown through the door at him sending him tumbling down the stairs and landing not gracefully.  
  
Joey grins as it goes back to camera at the studios. "So there's our first big brother participant - here's a quick video he made earlier to tell us a bit more about him"  
  
We see Bakura up close and a black background, "Where the hell are you taking me? Why's there a camera? Get it out my face!" we see a fist and then the screen goes funny.  
  
"Hehe, that Bakura, such a joker" Joey grins. "Our second participant has arrived, Clare!"  
  
we see another black car turn up and the door opens. A girl with a dark brown bob, wears glasses, and wearing jeans, chains, a black choker, and a black vest top grins and attempts climbing out the car gracefully but trips. Giggling nervously she gives a wave before she is lead over to the security guard.  
  
"Oh you're not a man" the security guard sighs sadly and pats her down whilst she has a confused slightly scared look on her face.  
  
"hmm" he says, I think she's allright" he says. She sighs and takes a step away, just as a load of chocolate falls out of the bottom of her jeans. She laughs nervously and picks up a few bars before grabbing her bag and running to the doors.  
  
She waves goodbye to freedom and enters the house, sighing and walking as carefully as she can down the stairs, chocolate bars trailing behind her. As she reaches the bottom of the stairs she drops her bag down and looks up and jumps startled at the same time Bakura does.  
  
"You're a man!" she exclaims shocked.  
  
"You're a girl!" he exclaims with equal shock.  
  
She giggles and twirls some hair around her finger, "heehee, and look, we're all alone"-  
  
"So that's our second participant" Joey grins back in the studio staring at the screen shot of her boobs on a nearby TV. Hearing the angry cough off the camera girl he laughs and turns his attention back to the screen, "Uh lets see the video she made earlier"  
  
We see her up close with black background "um, I'm clare, I'm a girl obviously, um"- the camera drifts down to her chest. "HEY!" she snaps and the camera goes back up to her face. Again we see a fist and the camera going funny.  
  
"Oh look, similar humor" Joey grins, "and now for our third participant, Malik"  
  
A pink limousine pulls up and the door opens. Malik steps out wearing a lilac dress, silver jewellery and silver high heels. He waves graciously and blows kisses before shimmying and stumbling on heels over to the security guard.  
  
"Hey, sugar" Malik grins to the security guard.  
  
"M-Malik? Darling? Is that you?" his eyes light up and he squeals doing a little jig.  
  
"Yeah! Wow that uniform is great on you, do you have handcuffs?" Malik winks.  
  
"Of course, and wow you look great in that dress!" the security guard gushes.  
  
"I know George, I know" Malik flicks his hair.  
  
"Just go straight on through sugar" George grins.  
  
Malik giggles evilly, what with all the weapons stuffed in his bra and panties. He grabs his bag and groans as he attempts dragging the heavy bag across the floor to get into the house. He stumbles in and stops to catch his breath before dragging the bag down the stairs.  
  
Bakura stops kissing Clare a moment who he has dipped down, gasping and letting go of her making her squeal and land on the floor with an OOMPH! "Malik?" he says.  
  
Clare turns and sits up, "Oh yey another girl!"  
  
"I'm a BOY actually!" Malik snaps and drops his bag, "but thanks for the compliment" he smiles.  
  
"Hmmmm, inteeeeresssting" Joey says making evil hands back in the studio. "and here is Malik's video"  
  
We see Malik sitting all provocative on the chair, "Hi, I'm malik" he says breathily, "you may recognise me from such films as 'dang girl! Is that body real?' and 'mud wrestling 2003'" he winks.  
  
Joey is staring wide eyed, "THAT BODY WASN'T REAL? Damn, why must he be a he"- there's another angry cough, "um yeah, well anyway - fourth participant!"  
  
Black car turns up and the door opens. Marik immediately jumps out and runs trying to avoid the camera, "stay away! Stay away! Evil!" he runs over and is grabbed by the security guard.  
  
"Sorry but I have to check you out before you go in mister" security man says.  
  
"But George, Malik's my hikari! You know me!" Marik exclaims.  
  
"I know, that's why I'm checking you out" George makes him do a twirl before nodding for him to go in.  
  
Marik carries his bag in quickly and runs down the stairs with his bag, dropping it with the others.  
  
"I wondered when you'd get here!" Malik leaps and hugs Marik sending them both flying into the pile of bags with a groan.  
  
"Um, hi" Clare waved from where she was sat on the sofa, then slapped Bakura's hand which was making its way to her boobs.  
  
Joey grins, "isn't this show great? You can feel the love already!" he points to a TV screen, "here's Marik's video"  
  
We see Marik trying to avoid the camera but its following him, "Stop it! Stop it! I'm just here to protect the chickens!" *cheers*  
  
"And now people" Joey grins, "our second girl, yes a REAL GIRL! Has arrived. Here's Ranie"  
  
A black limo pulls up and the door opens. A girl with long dark purple hair, thick black glasses steps out, throwing a bright pink boa around her and grins suavely, with barky larky (a TY frog) held lovingly in her arms.  
  
She is ushered over to George the security guard who gasps and waves his hands in an excited manner, "Oh my God, Oh my God! Its Barky Larky!" he squeals.  
  
"If I let you touch him, will you let me just go through?" Ranie asks.  
  
"Oh please! Can I? Oh God I love Barky Larky almost as much as Ma-.uh, Ma, my mum, yes" George strokes Barky Larky and says "You can go through!"  
  
Ranie grins as she picks up her bag and hears George mutter "I forget Malik told me not to tell the world about our love". There's then a lil wrestle as Ranie gets Barky Larky off George then runs into the house.  
  
"I'm here- ack!" she chokes as her boas caught in the door. Theres a struggle before she yanks the boa free then heads down the stairs dropping her bag onto the pile of bags. "OW!" Marik and Malik yell from where they're buried under the bags locked in a hug.  
  
"OH MY GOD! RANIE!" Clare squeals and runs over giving her friend a hug. "Some sanity has arrived" she grins.  
  
"Got a guy yet?" Ranie asks looking around at the hopeless cases.  
  
"I got Bakura" Clare stated. We see past her to Bakura who's playing with the salt and pepper pot in the kitchen.  
  
"I get Rex, when he gets his scrawny lil ass here!" Ranie cackled evilly.  
  
"Which will bring us to our next guest" Joey announces, back in the studio, again. "But first Ranie's video"  
  
We see a black background and Barky Larky upclose, with Ranie's hand holding him up, making him wave with a hand, and then run the hand over his hair sexily.  
  
"Um, interesting girl" Joey grins. "Okay, speaking of Rex, he's arrived!"  
  
a red crappy banger of a car pulls up and the door opens. Rex walks out mumbling and groaning to himself, pushing the cameraman before stomping his way over to the security guard.  
  
"Now now, that was rude! I think you should apologise!" George says, towering over Rex and folding his arms.  
  
"Pah, you can kiss my ass if you think I'm..going..to" Rex edges away seeing George's eyes light up. "I'M SORRY!" He yells and runs grabbing his bag and running into the doorframe, before going into the house.  
  
"Helloooo?" he calls out in a high voice as he slides down the banister and landed on the bag pile. "OW!" Malik and Marik grumble again.  
  
"MY BABY!" Ranie runs and yanks him up by the collar making him choke before pulling him into a suffocating hug.  
  
"Need.air.breathe" he chokes out as Ranie lets go of him. He blushes a little and Ranie laughs pulling his hat down over his face. He mumbles something as he flails his arms around before pulling the hat up. Malik and Marik stumble out of the bag pile groaning.  
  
"Okay, here's Rex's video" Joey announces.  
  
Black background and we see Rex glaring angrily at the camera. "Stop looking at me! Stop looking at me! I know you're watching me! I'll poke out your eyes!"  
  
"Charming bunch" Joey says and smiles charmingly at the camera, "and now for the seventh participant - Ryou"  
  
A black car pulls up and door opens. Ryou steps out with a cute lopsided smile on his face and wearing THE SWEATER. He walks casually up to the security guard.  
  
"Oh hunny, that sweater is just darling!" George exclaims and pokes the jumper. There's a growl and he edges away. "Did it just growl at me?" he whimpered.  
  
"I'll go straight on through then shall I chap?" Ryou picks up his bag and smiles down at his sweater before entering the house.  
  
"Hello?" he called walking down the stairs and then looked up to see Bakura and Clare making out.  
  
"Get off of my Beyatch!" he yelled throwing his bag down and glaring.  
  
The two jumped apart and Bakura glared back at Ryou. "I told you NOT to wear THAT sweater" he said folding his arms and pouting moodily.  
  
"Oh is this revenge then cos I chose to wear the sweater? Grab the nearest floozy and just..do your. stuff!"  
  
"Hey!" Clare snapped, "and for your info I'm not stealing your beyatch! I'm just HIS beyatch. which makes you like, my grand-beyatch" she smiled.  
  
Ryou rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "I guess" he grabbed Bakura's arm and muttered, "you'll be punished later boy" making Bakura's eyes go wide.  
  
"ooOOOooh do I sense naughtiness?" Joey chuckles and grinned at the camera enthusiastically. "and here is Ryou's video"  
  
See Ryou sitting all prim and proper and smiling nicely, THE SWEATER positively glowing, "I use persil, for dazzling whites" Ryou grins cheesily, teeth shining with a 'ting' sound.  
  
"uh, yes" Joey makes shifty eyes, "our 8th participant has arrived, Tristan"  
  
a red sports car pulls up and music plays 'sexyyy, everything about you is sooo sexyyy" as Tristan steps out the car, cheesy grin, pulling off his shades and strutting over to the security guard who has dreamy eyes.  
  
"I..uh, I must. need to, I" George stutters reaching out with his hands.  
  
"Hey hey, don't touch what you can't afford" Tristan winked chucking his leather jacket over his shoulder and reaching down to pick up his bag. As he does a shower of condoms falls from his pockets, jeans etc. He laughs exaggeratedly, quickly scooping them up into his arms and stumbling in through the doors of the BB house.  
  
He goes down the stairs, condoms trailing behind him until he reaches the end of the stairs and drops his bag onto the floor. Malik snorts and raises an eyebrow from where he stands. "Hey good looking" Tristan smirks, "did it hurt you fell from heaven?" he chuckles and pinches Malik's butt.  
  
"I'm A BOY!" Malik gasps and slaps Tristan across the face.  
  
"As long as you've got holes, I don't care!" Tristan called after him.  
  
"Too true" Joey grins, and more angry coughs make him look to the camera, "oh um, sorry, uh, here's Tristan's video"  
  
Black background and Tristan sat there, cheesey grin and combing his hair pouting occassionaly for the camera and flex his muscles.  
  
"See, no words needed" Joey grins and shifts on the couch he's sat on, "now for our 9th and 10thparticipants, who have arrived together - Yami and Yugi"  
  
A car pulls up and they step out opposite sides and walk around to hold hands, give each other a reassuring smile, then Yugi walks with Yami skipping by his side.  
  
"Aaww now aintcha just adorable!" George the security guard smiles. "aww go on through you crazy kids" George sniffles.  
  
They grab their bags and walk in, and carefully walk down the stairs side by side before reaching the end of the stairs.  
  
Clare gasped and pointed, from where she was sandwiched between Bakura and Ryou on the stairs, "TWIN ANDROGYNOUS WHORES!"  
  
"What? Where?!" Ranie asked and spotted gasping, "avert your eyes!" she pulled Rex's hat down over his face.  
  
"Why do we always have this effect of people?" Yugi sighed snuggled to Yami.  
  
"Think they've seen our bondage films?" Yami asked?  
  
Joey grins and nods, "I have- uh- haven't! HAVEN'T! here's their video" he announces.  
  
Black background and Yami and Yugi making out, then grabbing the microphone ans using it to-  
  
"That's enough of that vid I think" Joey stands up covering the TV screen and sneakily ejects the Video and puts it into his coat pocket.  
  
"So there you have it - the 10 participants of this years Big Bruvva! I sense romance, naughtiness, fights, make overs, and plenty of action - and that's just the boys! Stay tuned" Joey grins and winks cheesily at the camera. 


	2. The first night in the BB house

FORGOT - Disclaimer and whatto - despite, as much as my heart desires, I cannot be owned by bakura, or any of the YGO peeps, and I cannot own them. Shniffles on a slightly good note - I own myself, and ranie (heehee - no she owns herself!) and we are the grand owners of Barky Larky!  
  
"So. where's the alcohol?" Bakura asked rummaging around through all the cupboards and groaning as he opened a cupboard and a shower of packets of crisps bounced off his head.  
  
Clare snorted with laughter, sitting with Ranie on the couch and they looked horrified suddenly as Tristan sat down on the coffee table in front of them. "So ladies, tell me a bit about yourself" he ran a hand through his hair.  
  
"Well we're real girls" Ranie stated first and glanced over at Malik who was talking to Marik about George the security guard. "which means we're not inflateable" she said gazing back at Tristan.  
  
"Fantastic!" he grinned, "and you're singletons yes?" he leaned forward and the girls leaned back to avoid the gel glop threatened to fall off his hair.  
  
"I have Rex!" Ranie rambled out quickly. Rex looked up confused and saw her look. "Oh no, don't suffocate me again!" he ran to avoid another hug.  
  
"and I'm their beyatch" Clare pointed over to Bakura who was still searching for the alcohol with Ryou helping him.  
  
"Why have a threesome with them, when us three could have a way better - ARGH!" he crumpled to the floor as Ranie grinned satisfied, having kicked Tristan in the nuts.  
  
"Wow, I think you kicked his ego real hard" Clare said.  
  
Meanwhile Malik was twirling his hair around his finger as he talked to Marik, "isn't he just so.so."-  
  
"Stupid?"  
  
"No! George is so.manly! Mm that uniform, and the handcuffs" Malik sighed.  
  
"How the hell did you two meet anyway?" Marik folded his arms and raised and eyebrow.  
  
"Oh, he suspected I was a prostitute, then we got talking and well, you know" Malik giggled.  
  
"You got laid, without being paid?" Marik raised both eyebrows but didn't sound surprised.  
  
"He don't look it, but he's such a vicious dominatrix"  
  
"Okay, too much detail!" marik raised a hand.  
  
"Ow!" Malik squealed as the hair he was twirling got caught in his earring.  
  
He stumbled to the side as Rex ran past and was hitting the glass windows and doors yelling "GET ME OUT OF HERE!" crying as he slid to the floor. "Hmm, where's Yami and Yugi?" Marik pondered out loud, whislt glancing to the glass doors staring longingly towards the chickens *cheers*  
  
"They went into the closet" Clare informed them and they all went "oh", just as they could hear faintly "oh oh, harder yami harder!" and they all shuddered.  
  
"FOUND IT!" Bakura shouted with a huge grin on his face as he held up the bottle of Cider, which shined in all its glory, almost smacking Ryou in the face with it.  
  
"YEEEEEY!" They all cheered, as Bakura opened up the bottle and drank from it before passing it around.  
  
"Has there ever been a finer liquid to pass anyone's lips?" Bakura sighed sitting on a couch as everyone huddled like penguins to get to the cider.  
  
Seeing Malik's grin Bakura put a hand over his mouth, "JUST DON'T!" he snapped.  
  
Ryou smirked and sat beside Bakura stretching and the sleeve of his sweater brushed past Bakura's arm.  
  
Bakura let out a girlish squeak, "it just molested me! That sweater is evil!"  
  
Ryou pouted moodily, "Its great! You're just jealous. of what I don't know, but- SHUT UP! Remember I'm punishing you later at bedtime" he nudged Bakura.  
  
"Speaking of, we have to choose our beds aye?" Ranie asked raising an eyebrow. They all looked at each other before charging off to the bedrooms and peering through both doors.  
  
"We can't exactly do a room for girls and a room for boys" Clare pointed out.  
  
"Yeah, the only girls here are Clare, Ranie and Malik" Tristan sighed and got jabbed in the ribs by Malik.  
  
"Hmm, I know!" Clare announced stepping forward and facing the group. "Two people pick who goes in each room.sorta like teams!"  
  
"I wanna pick, I wanna pick!" Ryou squealed waving an arm around.  
  
"Me too!" Malik stumbled over in his heels.  
  
"Oh now we know he's picking girls for a girly sleepovers" Tristan muttered.  
  
"Better than being stuck in a room of horny gays - I mean guys" Ranie said.  
  
"I'll pick first!" Ryou announced and scoured the group. The girls looked hopeful - well desperate to be away from Tristan, but of course he had to pick his beyatch first "oi bey- I mean Bakura! Get your mighty fine ass over here now!"  
  
With that Bakura tried to look annoyed as he stomped over to lean against the doorframe beside Ryou.  
  
"I pick Marik!" Malik winked at his other half who casually strolled over.  
  
"Hmmm... Clare" Ryou said and she squealed as she skipped over and jumped up and down with Bakura squealing like girls, then they stopped when they realised the looks they were getting.  
  
"uuuuuhhhhhhh" Malik spoke thoughtfully looking at the others... "Uuuummm" they all looked at the androgynous whores emerged from the closet "Yugi and Yami!"  
  
"what?" they asked together, skipping over giggling.  
  
"You're sharing a room with me and Marik" Malik informed as they went over.  
  
Ryou looked at the remaining people. "Ranie!" he announced. She grabbed onto Rex declaring "we come as a pair!" yanking him over to join their group.  
  
"Oh man! We're stuck with Tristan" Marik whined.  
  
"I'm stuck in a room of men! Gay men!" Tristan whined as he stomped over.  
  
The group who were in 'Ryou's' room stumbled into their room and squealed with delight at the amazing furnishings and light blue colouring. Saying Oooh and aaah.  
  
"Um guys" Rex muttered as they walked in and blinked, "there's a double bed and 3 single beds. do you know what that means?"  
  
Clare and Ranie looked at each other, "more room to bounce!" the exclaimed hopping onto the double bed and jumping up and down on it.  
  
"NO!" Rex yelled making them all stop. He put his hands on his hips and scowled, "two of us are going to have to share a bed".  
  
Rex and the girls exchanged looks before pointing to Ryou and Bakura.  
  
Bakura made a whiney noise, "my one chance to have my own bed, stolen brutally!"  
  
Ryou placed a hand on his shoulder, "don't worry hun, it'll be fun!" he giggled, "I rhymed!"  
  
"Take your perverted hand off me!" Bakura sniffled, "I refuse to sleep with you when you wear THAT sweater"  
  
Ranie giggled as Clare fell off the bed and then soon stumbled and fell off too.  
  
Meanwhile in the other room, Tristan was curled up in the corner of the room whimpering. Yugi and Yami were making use of the double bed already and Marik was helping Malik reapply his eyeliner and basical 'girl talking'.  
  
"This is my punishment isn't it? For being such a sexy guy, that all the girls want" Tristan sniffled and shuddered.  
  
"Guys want you too sugar!" Malik called over and continued his conversation with Marik.  
  
Tristan shuddered again and closed his eyes, "Must not sleep, they might do things me" he muttered to himself.  
  
"Ow my eye!" Malik let out a little cry.  
  
Marik sighed and threw the eyeliner at him, "do it yourself then, sissy!" he left the bedroom and headed over to the glass door that looked out at the garden. He sighed looking longingly at the chickens *cheer*  
  
"It'll be okay, I'm here, I'll protect you, I'll keep you safe from these nasty people" he spoke in a weird voice, stroking the glass.  
  
"Dude, you're talking to yourself, that's a sign on madness!" Bakura's voice made him jump and turn to see him there retrieving the Cider.  
  
"Yeah, you'd know!" Marik glared.  
  
"Were you talking to the chickens? I heard you have a chicken fetish" Bakura grinned evilly.  
  
"I DO NOT!" Marik yelled, "I'm just here to protect the defenceless furry creatures"  
  
"Marik, chickens have feathers, not fur!" Bakura snapped.  
  
Marik blinked at him, "oh yeah? Who says?!"  
  
"Says the obvious! And the inventor of chickens!" Bakura snapped back.  
  
"And who invented chickens huh?!" Marik folded his arms.  
  
Bakura blinked and thought about it as he hugged the cider bottle, "The egg of course!"  
  
"Kids kids, what are you fighting about?" Ryou stood with his hands on his hips and tapped his foot on the floor.  
  
"HE HAS A CHICKEN FETISH!" Bakura shouted pointing at Marik.  
  
"WELL YOU'RE DUMB!" Marik yelled back.  
  
"Hey hey!" Ryou stepped between them, "we all know what you've both said is true" he received angry glares. "Now if you two start fighting again, don't think I won't stand you in separate corners or put you over my knee!"  
  
Marik looked scared and stepped away. Bakura just had this weird smile as he faced Ryou who gave him a look back, "now now, you get that later"  
  
Marik sniffed, "fine, I'm going!"  
  
"To your chicken lover?"-  
  
"NO! TO THE DIARY ROOM!" Marik stomped off slamming a door behind him.  
  
"There's a diary room? What's a diary room? What does diary mean? Ryou" Bakura followed him.  
  
Marik settled down in the huuuge comfy red chair and sighed looking around.  
  
"Hello Marik" a voice came out of nowhere making him look around.  
  
"Oh my God! Is that God? Where are you?" he asked whirling around.  
  
"In front of you dumbass!" the voice snapped.  
  
Marik faced in front and squinted as he leaned forward. "God is a camera?"  
  
"No! I'm some person using a microphone to communicate with you, and pretend to care what you're talking about!"  
  
"Oh right" Marik smiled slightly feeling a bit stupid.  
  
"So what's wrong Marik?" the voice asked and there was a sound of coffee being slurped.  
  
"It feels weird coming into this house! It's a rather nice house too might I add. There's so many different personalities, too, and there's one particular person who'd started to get on my nerves already - Bakura! He's making fun of my, I mean he's assuming and telling everyone I have a chicken fetish!"  
  
There was laughter and then the 'voice' composed themselves, "well you did put on your application form sex: with chickens, instead of stating you were male"  
  
"I, uh, that was a mistake! I don't know who wrote that, some sick joke. hey you know you sound a lot like Joey" Marik answered.  
  
There was a bit of a long awkward silence, "I'm not Joey" the voice suddenly went scratchy and attempting to be high, sounding more like Marge Simpson on helium.  
  
"Only Joey would put on a stupid voice like that!" Marik stated.  
  
There was another long silence. "Big brother is asking you to leave the diary room" the mangled voice commanded.  
  
"But I just"-  
  
"LEAVE!" yelled a voice, a lot like Joey's.  
  
Marik stumbled out the chair startled and left the diary room.  
  
Meanwhile Clare and Ranie were in the kitchen figuring out how to make cups of tea. "Hey!" Clare grinned, "the kettle's called Shneider!" she pointed to the name on the side and giggled.  
  
"Oh cool! We christen ye, Shneider!" Ranie announced as she poured water into the kettle.  
  
"Hmm, cups cups cups" Clare muttered until she found the cupboard with cups and pulled some out putting them onto the side. "Now we need milk and sugar"  
  
Ranie grinned and burst into the song "sugar" by SOAD  
  
Clare grinned and popped some tea bags into the cups, "dude, we rock this kitchen!"  
  
"OOGAMAGA!" A scary looking Rex suddenly jumped up from behind the counter making them both scream.  
  
He grinned and chuckled evilly, "why what's that? A 'kiss the cook' apron?" he wiggled his eyebrows at Ranie as she looked down at her apron and giggled.  
  
"I'm leaving!" Clare stated as she left them to their kitchen antics.  
  
She headed over to the bedroom where Ryou and Bakura had gone off to. She was about to open the door when she heard smacking noises and "who's the daddy? Who's the daddy beyatch?"  
  
She slowly edged away from the door and shuddered, "I hope I don't get punished" she thought, thinking of how she was their beyatch. Then grinned and edged back to the door to listen to him to be dominated mwahahaha.  
  
"Perverts! I'm in a house of perverts!" Tristan wailed.  
  
"This is coming from the horny 'sex beast' who's groped about 3 of us already?" Clare raised an eyebrow.  
  
Tristan grinned, "You think I'm a sex beast?"  
  
Clare glared, "do you want Ranie to kick ya in the knackers again?" with that Tristan scampered off.  
  
"I'm going to bed snookums" Rex kissed Ranie on the cheek and slid off the counter.  
  
"Good night sleep tight, make sure Malik don't bite stinkypie!" Ranie grinned.  
  
"Hold on!" Clare warned and hammered on the door, "you done in there?"  
  
There was giggling and muttering and sounds of movement before there was a "yes!"  
  
Rex groaned and trudged over, kicking the door open and walked in. Then there was a scream and he ran back to ranie crying "my eyes my beautiful eyes!"  
  
"Whats up?"  
  
"Ryou is!" Rex whimpered, "they're nakey!"  
  
"They are?" Clare gasped and ran into the bedroom.  
  
"There there hunny, it'll be allright" Ranie patted Rex on the head and pulled his hat down over his eyes. "Here, I'll lead you to your bed"  
  
"They'll still make noises!" Rex complained.  
  
"I'll kick them in their manly areas if they do" Ranie insisted, "I'm tired and want to go to bed too" she got to the door. "You all better be covered up!" she yelled and stormed in leading Rex to his bed.  
  
Clare was lying on her tummy on her bed, which was conveniently next to Ryou and Bakura's shared bed and she was talking to Bakura.  
  
"So how red is that ass boy?" she enquired.  
  
"Like cherries, wanna see?" Ryou said lifting the covers.  
  
"No naked red asses in the room please!" Ranie demanded climbing into her own bed. "If you two get kinky now, I'll make sure you never have sex again understood!" she shouted and watched Bakura and Ryou nod and cling to each other with fear. "GOOD!" she smiled over at Clare, "G'night dear!"  
  
"G'night Ray!" Clare pulled the covers over herself and promptly fell asleep.  
  
Bakura snuggled down against Ryou and giggled slightly.  
  
"Those giggles better be from the other room!" Ranie growled. There was a scared silence as Ryou cuddled Bakura closer.  
  
In the other room Tristan lay in his bed terrified to move, whilst Yugi snored in harmony with Yami in their bed and Malik slept in the bed next to Tristan's wearing a frilly nighty. Marik was talking in his sleep about chickens. "So fluffy. you make me want to..lay an egg". Tristan stared up at the ceiling with wide terrified eyes. 


End file.
